I had an amazing weekend...I hope all of yours were well too! Friday we took the kids out to eat. With the youngins, we like to go someplace they can play. I will apologize to my friends to the north...I was wearing shorts on Friday. I live in a place where we blow fake snow in so our kids can have snowball fights...yes, I'm serious. But, I digress.
The kids were playing, the weather was beautiful, and my husband reached across to take my hand while we watched. I figured hey, this might be a good time to take a leap and say probably one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to say. I took a deep breath...then another.
Hey babe?
Hmmm.
I need help.
What?
I need help.
Help?
Yes, I need help.
What do you need help with?
Well, I really want to be healthier...workout, eat healthier.
Ok, what do you need from me?
Support.
This is the point when our food arrives and a giant chicken fried steak is placed in front of me (don't judge). As I am about to take my first bite, my dear, sweet husband picks up my plate and holds it just out of reach. We both start laughing and he gives my food back.
Tomorrow:) I'll start tomorrow.
And took a sip of my beer, raised my eyebrows and we laughed some more.
We ate and then the kids ran off again and we resumed the conversation.
I don't mind helping you, but you don't listen to me.
I know. I'm sorry.
I want to do better. But I need you to keep telling me even when I make excuses. I'm not angry with you, but with myself.
Ok.
And then I let him think. I have to be very patient with my husband. I am the talk something to death sort and he is the contemplative, quiet sort. Drives me crazy!
So Saturday, we are taking kids in opposite directions for activities and lunch. I get a text right before lunch with a little smiley face and the words "Eat Healthy". I know this is going to sound absolutely ridiculous, but I wanted to cry. What a sweet text. I know that some of you out there are shaking your head. Really?, you say. But he remembered, he took my request seriously, and he cared enough to remind me. And I ate healthy:)
Sunday was an awesome family day and I won't bore you with the details, but all of "our" teams won (which puts my husband in an amazing mood) and we had sex every day this weekend. Our sex life isn't horrible (3-4 times a week), but with three kids can be sporadic. My dear husband said it would help in my weight loss goals. Laugh out Loud...that's a new one.
Oh Bea that is wonderful!
ReplyDeleteGotcher self a great guy there....swooooon.....
Sounds like an all round great weekend. AND good on you for talking to him! AND him for taking you seriously. I can TOTALLY understand you wanting to cry with his sweet text. After all you were out of sight but clearly not out of mind.
Thanks Wilma...he has his moments. I was afraid I sounded a bit silly about the text. My gosh it was two words, but it meant a lot to me.
DeleteBea
That's really wonderful. :) Come back and read this when you start to think he's pestering you! And yes, that will happen, lol.
ReplyDeleteDo you have a plan of action? Less carbs, less sugar, etc? First thing you should do is clean out the pantry and fridge to get rid of the temptations. You can't eat junk if there's none in the house.
I have a feeling I will have to reread this quite often:) I have talked to him before and asked him to remind me of my goals (probably not in this respectful, and vulnerable way of asking for "help") and when I did, I would make excuses and ignore his advice. I know, hand smack to the forehead, but that was before I realized what I was doing to my relationship. I am hoping it will be better now.
DeleteHmmm...the plan is still in the works. Right now I am focusing on making sure I get to the gym (nothing fancy, just a little 10 dollar a month gym) at least 3 times a week. Any thoughts? I have done weight watchers before and that worked, but I would get lazy about counting points.
Bea
Diet-wise I would recommend paleo, or if you can't cut carbs out all together, do some research into slow-carb. Basically no white carbs, all whole grains if you eat them, no pastas, etc.
DeleteI did great with Adkins a few years ago, but fell off the wagon at Christmas and never got back on.
I have thought a lot about Clean Eating...basically you don't eat something with more than 5 ingredients and if you don't recognize an ingredient then you don't eat it. I have a lot of friends do Paleo...will have to look into that. We already do whole wheat bread, but pasta would be hard...I love my pasta:) Thanks for the info.
DeleteBea
My suggestion. Don't give up what you don't think you can't. Just limit it. Otherwise you won't succeed in the long run. Hungry Girl has a great website where you can find popular foods, with low cals. The jalapeno stuffed peppers are fantastic ( you can certainly skip the blue cheese). It is more about changing your eating habits for the long haul, ( says the girl with a food journal) But I lost 15 lbs 2 years ago, and it has stayed off.
DeleteYour hubby sounds like a "keeper". Glad your weekend was so terrific and good luck this week on the eating healthier. That horrible time of year is coming and it scares me to death - all those temptations.
ReplyDeleteThanks sunnygirl...he definitely is. I was thinking that too, between Halloween candy, and parties. Ughh. This is going to be tough.
DeleteBea
Awww Bea :)
ReplyDeleteIt is happening, Sweetie, and you are doing it exactly right with patience. And, bless your heart, you are noticing these first little indicators that he is stepping up. You are going to get there, I just know it.
I remember feeling dumbstruck the first times I noticed Ian doing little things like the text you related. I remember the feeling of, "wow - this is new!"
Increased sex is one of the first things I noticed as well. Very nice.
And Bea! Shorts!
There is a foot of snow where I live, and the squirrels are freeing their furry little buns off.....
shorts, indeed! LOL
hugs and love
lillie
I am in awe at the changes in my husband. And I just started! I wish I had realized sooner what I was doing and what I should be doing. I know, I know, I shouldn't feel bad because I am where I am for a reason. The sex was a surprise...he already liked that:) I did not fathom how he could want it more. Lol!
DeleteAll I can say on the snow is that I will be jealous come Christmas dreaming of snow and fireplaces.
Love ya,
Bea
Um, just an FYI, we don't ALL have a foot of snow up here. I was cleaning out my backyard today in my bare feet...
DeleteThat is so sweet! I remember telling Ryan that I did not need big ovations all of the time....little things work for me too. The other day it was a short email while he was at work..."Drink your water." It made me smile, and made me feel loved....as weird as that sounds. Yay for you! He sounds like a keeper....
ReplyDelete~Lucy
It made me feel like he was thinking of me even though he wasn't with me...I totally get it.
DeleteBea
I'm a little jealous that you were wearing shorts Bea!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'm over it. :)
This little stuff--him paying attention and remembering. This is the heart of ttwd. It's SO not all about the spanking and if you two slowly build your relationship based on these kinds of things, you're absolutely golden. Keep celebrating the sweet moments and thanks for telling us about it.
Thanks Susie,
DeleteI'm jealous of white Christmases if it makes you feel any better:) My kids want to know how Santa is going to land his sled on the roof with no snow...my husband said he uses his hovercraft technology...men:)
That is why I was so drawn to these blogs...the marriages had the qualities I was looking for. I have learned to never say never, as that usually jumps up to bite me in the but (Ahahahaha...I crack myself up), but at this point (especially since my husband doesn't even know what I am doing:)) I don't think discipline spanking is for me. But I have certainly learned a lot reading all of your blogs...helping me to begin to yield to my husband. We shall see where the journey leads us:) I so appreciate all of your support.
Bea
I told the kids one year when it looked like we weren't going to get snow- we did, that Santa has a snow gun/ vacuum. He shoots it on the roof lands and then sucks it up when he leaves to use at the next house...
DeleteI know I am a brilliant lier!...Poor Barney...lol
Silly Willie:) Sorry couldn't resist:)
Delete