Loaded Question

In case you don't know this...I am a stay at home mom.  My daily wardrobe is grungy casual.  Currently I am wearing yoga pants, tennis shoes, and a t-shirt.  Hot...I know.  So I asked my husband recently if there was anything that I wasn't already doing that he would like me to do. 

Kind of a loaded question, but I did not mean it to be.

After he looked at me with the "Oh shit, this is one of those times that I am in trouble no matter what I say, isn't it" looks, I told him to think about it.  I truly wanted to know and he could get back to me when he thought of it.

So I am thinking he might say one of the following: "Have more sex.", "Make sure that there isn't an entire load of dishes on the counter at one time", and maybe even "Clean the toilets more often."

What came out of his mouth, not 5 minutes later, was not anything that I was expecting.  It was so quick that I think he thought of it immediately, but only waited 5 minutes because he did not want to phrase it in the wrong way. 

"I wish you would dress up more.  I really like you in dresses and skirts.  I like when you wear makeup (which is almost never).  Not all the time, but sometimes would be nice."

It was my turn for the deer in headlights look.  "Really, that's it?, um ok."

I was so dumbfounded that it took a while for that knowledge to sink in.  That was a good thing as it turned out because I later went through a wide range of emotions coming to terms with this suggestion. 

First emotion: anxiety

My thought process went something like this:  "Am I not pretty enough? Do I look horrible to him?"

Second emotion: paranoia

"If he isn't attracted to me...will his eyes stray elsewhere?"

Third emotion: irritation

"Get a Grip Bea." "Besides what is this the '50s?"  "I am not ironing in heels." "Doesn't he understand that my work is dirty, and I need to be comfortable?"

Fourth emotion: reluctant acceptance

"I do want him to be happy." "It probably wouldn't hurt to dress up occasionally."  "In the grand scheme of things..."

You get the picture.  Our poor men, dealing with these highly charged emotions.  Thank goodness I had these alone.

So I thought, I will try it...see how it goes.  I would wear my comfy clothes (or sometimes just stay in my pajamas) and then put on something nicer (maybe not always a dress) and add a little makeup.  At least mascara and some lip gloss.  Here is the crazy thing: even before my husband got home...I felt better.

My husband did love it by the way...and always notices when I take the time to dress up.  What is funny is he used to ask me if I did happen to be dressed up what I went out and did that day.  I would dress up to go to the mall, but was having issues with taking a few minutes to look nice for my spouse.  That was sort of eye opening...I was more worried about what strangers might say and trying to stay off the People of Walmart emails, and wasn't making any attempt to look nice for my husband.

But when I take the time (and we are only talking like 5 minutes here) to look nice for him, it makes him feel special.  I tried to put myself in his shoes and wondered what I would feel like if I was working all day and looking forward to spending time with my spouse and came home to this:

Now, I am not saying that my world is going to start looking like this:

Or that the first picture isn't going to happen on occasion.  I am a realist.  I am not, however, a super model and I do not have time to be perfect when he walks in the door, but throwing on something that isn't stained, brushing my hair, and putting on some lip gloss won't kill me and has the side benefit of making me feel like a woman...instead of just mommy.  It makes my husband feel like he matters.

So, I know that some people might disagree and think I am throwing women's rights right back to the stone age, which I don't even understand that argument as it has nothing to do with women's rights.

What if you worked and your husband stayed at home and you came home every day to this:

Love this movie by the way (Mr. Mom)

You cannot honestly say that it wouldn't get old. That you wouldn't wonder when your spouse last had a shower, or brushed their teeth.  Some of you may rationalize it saying, but your spouse should love you no matter what. 

He does love me and should love me no matter what.  It isn't about love...it is about attraction and so I am going to do this to make him happy, besides it has it's benefits:)  He thinks I am hot. Trust me, I get rewarded:)