Face Time

I think he finally gets it.  I just want time...face time...time where we aren't fussing at kids, completing a project, talking about money or kid issues.  I want time where we are alone and can just talk...about anything.  Time that I have his undivided attention, time that he cares about what I am saying and isn't more interested in the game on television.  Time where we can laugh or cry.  Time when I can share a problem or listen to one of his.  That is what I have been missing for the last few weeks...TIME.

I was very excited because we were supposed to have an awesome date this weekend.  Unfortunately, it did not work out the way either of us wanted.  The thing is we were having this nice dinner and I was willing to move past the disappointment of our changed plans, but he just couldn't let it go.  I told him that I was having  a blast and that it didn't matter what we did, but he just kept harping on it.  I tried to change the subject, be upbeat, and joke around in a sexy way...he just kept going back to it.  I kept thinking that if I thought the words loud enough that he would just LET IT GO.

I was hurt.  I tried not to let it bother me, but it felt like because he didn't get to do what he wanted that it wasn't enough just to be with me.  And I just snapped.  We were on our way back to pick up the kids and I just couldn't listen to it anymore.  I would have been fine knowing he was upset, but it was pretty much all he talked about the whole night.  After his moody date last weekend, our Valentine's Day and this date...I had just had ENOUGH!

"Was it not enough that we had a nice dinner.  I was trying to have fun and I think I would have been able to if you hadn't complained the entire time about how you wish you had been doing something else!  How do you think that makes me feel?!  I just want the opportunity to be out with you...we wouldn't have to be doing anything!  I just want YOU!"

I will say that my voice was quite loud and I wasn't proud of totally losing my temper, but he got very quiet and then replied, "I ruined it didn't I, because I just couldn't let it go."  I wish that I had been able to explain it without hurting his feelings. But, HE GETS IT.

So, Sunday night after the kids got to bed we had:

face time

uninterrupted time

paying attention to only each other time

and we laughed

and we showed our love for each other

not in our words

but with our actions

we listened

we joked

we talked

we laughed

we planned

we had amazing CONNECTED sex

and it was EXACTLY what we needed

and he gets it

he understands that I just want TIME...FACE TIME with him

Because I LOVE HIM

and I don't care what we do

we could just sit at home like we did Sunday

curled up on the couch TOGETHER.