The Pants

I wear the pants...I not only wear the pants, I took the pants, I STOLE  the pants.  For a long time my husband would steal them back and there we were in a proverbial tug of war for said pants. 

I thought that the pants were mine to wear.  I was sure of it.  I knew that I could wear them better, they would fit me better, I would rock those pants.

I think that my husband got tired of taking the pants back and reluctantly, exasperatedly let me keep the pants. He was trying to make peace, trying to make sure that I was happy.  I don't think that he is very happy, walking around pantless.

I have tried handing him back the pants and to my utter surprise, he doesn't want them back. 

See, I realized they weren't my pants...I have no idea why I tried to steal them in the first place because they aren't mine...they don't even fit.  I have my own pants and I look a little ridiculous wearing two pair.  Plus I am physically tired from trying to wear two pairs of pants.

I didn't know what to do.  I was bewildered. Why oh why did I even want these pants.  They are really heavy...the burden of these pants. 

I am laying down the pants.

I am going to worry about rocking my own pair of pants.

I know my husband will eventually pick up the pants, but I fully expect him to pass by the pants for a little while...I think he will be waiting for me to pick them back up.

When I think of the time that I wasted, the energy I used without even knowing it, and the pain it may have caused myself, my husband, and my marriage it is easy for me to feel guilty.  I will choose now to allow our love to heal our marriage, allow God to define and show me what my pants and my husbands pants should look like, and I will not dwell on the years spent fighting over those damn pants.

I wanted to share this song with you...it inspires me.  Some light lead me to realize that there was a problem in my marriage.  I feel my bones ignited and I feel inspired to fix the problems I have caused.  I hope the pants references were not to annoying...I am a visual person and it helped me visualize our little over a decade long marriage. (If they were, you could make a drinking game out of how many times I said pants, jk)

Coldplay
"Fix You"
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try, you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Light will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you