So, How's That Working For Ya

Ahhhh, married life. The blissful, peaceful, happily ever after existence that occurs after the wedding.

So, how's that working for ya? 

Enter a decade and a half later: three kids, mortgage, car payments, dog, cat, fish, stretch marks, and you can pretty much guess where the marital relationship falls in the ranking. 

Disclaimer: I am happy, my husband is a good guy, my kids are cute, and I am not about to jump off a bridge.  I am writing this blog as I strive to become a better wife, better mother, a new Bea.  Sometimes I will complain, whine, say something you don't understand and cannot fathom.  Guess what, it is my blog.  You are welcome, but not at my expense. So please keep negative comments to yourself.

Ok, now that I have that out of my system...My marriage is a Ford.  Reliable, inexpensive, and not many bells and whistles. 

I would like it to be a Lexus with heated and air conditioned seats, sunroof, back up camera, bluetooth...ok, I think you get the picture.  I have no idea how to get from the Ford to the Lexus, but I hope to chronicle my journey to a better marriage on this blog (or would that be in this blog, hmmm.)  Proper use of prepositions is not all that important I guess.

I have come to realize that the only person you have any control over is....drum roll please....I know that you will be shocked to read this...YOURSELF. 

Funny how you can tell yourself that over and over and over again and yet you still try to change other people.  So, how's that working for ya?  I subconsciously try to control my environment because it makes me feel safe, but the thing is, that means I am controlling others too and then I become someone who isn't all that fun to live with.

Enter the serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

God, if you could throw in a manual letting me know HOW to do that, that would be great.