Confrontation

I have made an observation, often when I am preparing for confrontation.  I seem to fill with frustration and aggravation due to some unmet expectations and inability with articulation.  The infuriation builds until my husband is likely to feel some deprivation of ejaculation.

I find myself lying down at night with exhaustion and prostration.  I have an inclination to fill with indignation about my perception of the disputations occurring in my imagination.  Levi comes to me with affection, hoping for an assignation and a celebration of our love.  Instead of capitulation, I have a continuation of irritation.  I slow my respiration and attempt some meditation.  I wonder if my frustration is hormone fluctuation or maybe indigestion.  I just can't seem to find my motivation.

I know that I should have a conversation about my continuation of the frustration I am feeling and the explanation I deserve for his secret fascination, but Levi has now showed indication that he has fallen into hibernation.  Then my body is in oscillation trying to get comfortable and deal with the fallen expectation of said confrontation.

The words are stuck in formulation and I can't seem to bring them to proper enunciation.  I know the confrontation is necessary, but my heart is having palpitations just in its contemplation.  The implication of this altercation has me ill in anticipation.  The temptation to ignore the speculations is great, but I know the confrontation must occur.

I am unsure how he will take the revelation of my declaration of his secret.  I waited until I had affirmation for the accusation and that it hasn't reached ANYTHING close to devastation...YET, but must be brought up for mutual examination and consideration.  I am trying to keep my mind from its own fabrication of explanations.

I accept with resignation the need for confrontation, at least for alleviation of the cumulation of stress and shorten the duration of anticipation as that is often worse than the confrontation itself.

I hope and pray that the diction and inflection of my words produces proper reception and prevents a horrible altercation.