Highs and Lows

As I reflect on my year while I sit in front of my fireplace with a cup of coffee, I realize that it has been one heck of a year of highs and lows.  Overall it has been a good year and a meh year all at the same time.  I try to convince people that I am a realist, but I lean heavily toward the optimist side.  In fact I am probably an optimist pretending to be a realist.  So even when certain things have been meh, I try to see the silver lining.

I have noticed that during the school year it is difficult to find time to write...it is much easier in the summer time.  But I have had so many things that I have wanted to blog about and just haven't found the time.  I really want to try to write more as it helps me to digest my life.  It may mean that my posts may be shorter and not as exciting, but I think it helps me process so forgive my lack of editing.

I like to end on a good note so I will start with the meh:

1.  Health...I am still dealing with a body gone haywire.  It is a work in progress and there have surely been ups and downs.  I am currently dealing with Perioral Dermatitis and can't wear make up or use any sort of moisturizer until it clears...it's been a few months now and is finally starting to improve.  I feel older than my years and it ticks me off.  My mood has been meh and I don't know why.

2.  Communication...Levi and I still communicate in fits and spurts.  I suppose it will always be that way, but I still think there is room for improvement.  We both still misunderstand, take offense, and get defensive when we shouldn't quite often...Or we sit in silence a little too much.

3.  Stress...Levi has had some difficulty with his job...the kind that makes you want to throw up your hands and so &*%$ it.  It has caused him to bring home "work" to me and the kids and stress boils over and causes conflict.  He is working on that and has switched positions to start. Although he got a raise, we lost a perk that is hurting a bit financially.  I have been a little stressed after going back to work part time and learning to adjust our routine and still paying the bills on my own.

4.  Bedroom...We started out the year very well, but here in the last few months the well has gone dry.  It is totally me and I am not sure what to do about it but I am working on it.  I really think I have a hormonal issue as many things some cyclical.  I am going soon to check my thyroid levels again because I am just so tired.  These days I would rather sleep than get it on and when we do, it is just meh.

Silver Linings:

1.  Health...I have lost another 10 pounds so that would be 20 pounds in two years...yes, it is slow, but steady and it feels awesome when my pants are falling off:)  I am eating better than I ever have and I am exercising.  Levi can't walk through the room without checking me out...boy does that feel good:)

2.  Vacations...We had some great vacations this year...a trip to Disney,  a few days unplugged lakeside, some overnight dates with Levi that have been QUITE memorable.

3.  Firsts and Excitement...I photographed my first wedding, attended my 20 year reunion, went back to work part time and LOVE it, posed in lingerie in front of a stranger for a once in a lifetime present for Levi, celebrated Levi's 40th birthday, realized that I have been writing this blog for two years and have come a long way, have been working really hard on connecting with Levi, have started to write for a travel blog and am hoping to turn that into becoming a part time travel agent.

4.  Home...I have been really working hard on getting rid of "stuff"  that we don't use around the house in order to spend less time taking care of and cleaning stuff and more time doing the things that we enjoy doing with each other.  It can be a struggle not to compare or want things I don't need so I am working on that.

So I am not really leaving you with any resolutions for the new year...I just need to keep doing what I am already doing and making progress like a turtle.  Turtle speed seems to work best for me so I will take it month by month...and although I certainly have goals and a picture of where I want to be, I will focus more on "just keep swimming" as Dory would say.  So here is to the new year and hope that you all just keep swimming toward your ideals as well.  The path may be a bit foggy but I trust that there is some sunshine waiting to greet me.