So irritating! Now let's have sex.

Here is an update on Levi and I's sex challenge for each other...you can read it about it here.

 

Day 7: nada, again  (We were both "busy" tonight.  I was trying to pay bills, check Facebook, read blogs, pick up around the house.  Levi was playing video games...it's his decompression time.  We ended not falling into bed until 11:30 and promptly fell asleep.)

 

Day 8: Morning Short Shower Session (In the morning, Levi made a rule...say what?  "We have to go to bed earlier!"  I tentatively replied, "Ok."  "We need to be in bed by 10 every night."  "Sounds good." I surely replied.  He proceeded to take me in the shower.  It was alright.

 

Day 9: Warm Tingles (How do I explain warm tingles...there are times when our husbands just hit all the right spots and a warm sensation just spreads throughout your body and you feel like you could do it forever and be happy.  I am not talking about orgasm, although if I get the warm tingles then I typically have excellent ones.  I suppose I feel very connected, very into the moment, what I quietly want is what he is doing and I am not having to tell him.  Not that telling him is bad...there are just times you really want it differently than you are getting it in that moment and need to speak up, but something about their ability to read you and give it how you want it without the words makes it better somehow.  aaaaand....maybe I am just crazy and on my own on this one.  But the cool thing about these warm tingles is that I was completely irritated with him and still got them!)

Epiphany...So I CAN be completely irritated with him and still have sex,

IF I push past the annoyance.

 

 

My dear Levi....oh, you know it is bad when a Southern girl writes dear before her husband's name(wanted to make sure you Northern folk understand)...can be SO irritating.  I know I can be too, but that isn't what this story is about.  Levi screws with "the plan" sometimes.  I have a plan in my head...one that I know will benefit everyone in the situation as I have thought about this plan from all angles at once.  If he screwed with the plan for the benefit of all or even "the plan", I would be totally cool with it and even be turned on by his leading the situation.  But he doesn't screw with "the plan" to improve it, but because he gets "stuck".  How do I explain "stuck"?  Let me give you an example: 

Example 1:  We will be leaving town and I have spent the day doing laundry and packing.  I have the kids completely ready to go...meaning we have all peed and they have their car entertainment ready to go.  My dear Levi has come in and thrown his things in the suitcase.  I am loading up the car and tell the kids it is time to go and Levi says, wait, I have to do something real quick.  What does he have to do?  Prepare some safety feature for the house, no.  Unplug appliances, no.  He needs to update his 401K in our computer.  The kids are now whining and I am telling them to just give daddy a moment...10 minutes later I load the van and wait outside because my blood pressure is through the roof and it is better for everyone if I leave the house.

 

So this time we had decided that we would decorate our tree that has been sitting with just lights on it for a few days now.  We have had activities every night and this was a night that we had nothing to do and nowhere we had to be.  Our pre-lit tree had had some issues though and some lights had not lit.  Levi had strung the tree with some other lights for now and we would add "new tree" to our list for next year.  I put on the Christmas music and we sat down to dinner.  Levi said that he had to run a quick errand.  Ok, I said...the kids and I will get things prepped.  He got back from his errand at 7:30ish...now keep in mind we have young kids that are typically in bed between 8:30 and 9.  He said he borrowed a tool from a friend at work that could fix broken Christmas lights...cool.  He said he wants to fix them first.  Okay, I sent the kids upstairs to play and said I would let them know when it was time.  8:45 rolls around...okay, I am done he says.  Babe, we can't do the tree now.  We had been waiting to do the tree because he wanted to do it as a family...we have a school program one night and another activity Friday.  The kids are upset, it is time to go to bed, and Levi gets "stuck".  He just couldn't let it go.  Then he made a teasing remark about something as we were getting the kids to bed that really hurt my feelings.

Why am I telling you all this?  I am not trying to throw Levi under the bus...this is his annoying habit, but I allow it to drive me nuts, so I am equally to blame.  I am also quite certain that I have annoying habits too...hello, this blog is about reforming my control freakedness so I am fully aware of my faults. 

I am telling you this because I have realized that I have been using "I am irritated" as an excuse not to have sex.  Ouch.  I have not being doing this intentionally, but subconsciously.  But when I would get irritated I would put up the walls and I would think to myself, "You have been irritating me for the last hour and you think now you are going to have a warm body to hold, Ha!"  My feelings would be hurt, I would be disappointed about something and would let it "get in the way" of being open to sex.

Last night, I didn't.  My reasoning may not be the greatest...I did not want to go another night in our challenge without having sex...yikes, says something about me, doesn't it.  But you know what?  I realized something very important in the process. 

 

I was irritated and hurt and I let Levi know it, and then I had sex anyway...and it was really good.