Imagine a Job

Imagine you had a job

a job you liked most days

loved some days

loathed others

some days you are on top of your game

you accomplish everything on your list

You Rock

others you are completely unmotivated or overwhelmed

your list weighs on you

things literally pile up

people depend on you

if you don't do your job

people won't eat

they won't have a clean place to live

they won't get to where they are supposed to be

you feel that you have one of the most important jobs ever

but you are losing your center

things seem to be spinning away

you receive little input about the job you do

no pay

no atta boy

no I would rather you do it this way

you make the decisions for your job on your own

with little feedback

you manage people

you shop for people

you serve people

you love them

those people don't always appreciate what you do

you show up to this job

sick or healthy

and some days you just don't feel like it

imagine that you begin to realize that you are not doing this job as well as you should

you can't get a cut in pay

you can't get fired

your work is not very appreciated

by those you are serving or the outside world

but they do notice when tasks aren't completed

you know that this job will be fruitful sometime in the future

you should do this job just because it is what you have been called to do, right?

you should do this job because you want to be successful at it

peoples lives depend on it

but some days you just don't want to

some days you are tired

some days you are just plain lazy

this upsets you

some days you want to throw in the proverbial towel

you want to do a good job

you want to be appreciated

you want to be held accountable

you want someone to care what you do

what you don't do

about the things you want to do

you try to hold yourself accountable

but it is easy to get distracted

to lose focus

to feel guilty for not accomplishing your tasks

what do you do?

if holding yourself accountable

and doing it because you know that you are supposed to

doesn't work

what do you do?

ask for help?

but how does one help someone in this predicament?

I don't know.

I want to be a good wife

a good homemaker

a good mother

I want to love my good life

but sometimes life is freakin hard

sometimes I feel lonely and alone

sometimes it just sucks

sometimes shit happens

and sometimes it is just blah

imagine a job

your life's work

are you doing it well?

am I doing it well?

some days yes

some days no

some days I wish someone would tell me so.