Our family got into an interesting discussion the other night about things that we have always wanted to do but haven't...so I thought I would share with you all our bucket lists, or dream lists as the kids called them. It is really cool to see what the kids have on their lists...we even helped our middle child mark one off his list already. Levi and I want to help the kids with their goals and help them make more...although as you will see, some of them will be impossible...we can try to get close. I had them come up with at least 5...Levi and I could have gone all night as we both love travel.
Levi
Go to a Liverpool game in Liverpool
Cruise the world
Win Fantasy Soccer
Please a difficult client (I would like him to accomplish this one too, so he isn't so stressed!)
Win big in Vegas
Me (I know this is 10, but it is MY blog)
Cliff dive in Greece
Snow ski in Lake Tahoe (Levi says my clumsy self is absolutely not allowed to ski...pfft)
Rock out in karaoke (I want to wow people)
Go on a mission trip (I love Living Water or Samaritan's Feet trips)
Write a book
Learn to Salsa
Climb Machu Picchu
Touch the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem
Ride a train in Colorado
Drink wine in an Italian winery (or one in California, Germany, Australia...I'm not picky)
Oldest Kid (This is a tough list for Levi and I to help with!)
Meet and play Minecraft with Stampylongnose (Oh geez, can we be done with Minecraft already?)
Visit the rainforest and find this animal he saw in a book once
Write a book (Wonder where he got that?)
Go Sailing
Invent a room cleaning robot (So smart and such an unorganized mess!)
Middle Kid (So funny how you can see their personalities in their lists...our active kid)
Wants to surf
Climb the ladder Dad used to paint our two story walls (We took care of this one and mom did not watch!:))
Learn to play tennis (I have something for the Christmas list)
Be on American Ninja Warrior (he loves this show and tries to set up obstacles all over the house)
Read easier (This one breaks my heart...my baby is really struggling here)
Youngest Kid (Such cuteness)
Swim in a swim meet (She wants to beat her big brothers...competitive much?)
Watch Daddy play soccer in a stadium (We know the coach of the high school team...maybe we can work something out...)
Wants to go to space (Seriously?!)
Wants to be on TV (Drama Queen!)
Ride my bike by myself without training wheels (almost there:))
So what is on your list?
Monday, September 8, 2014
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Back to Work
I have a job! I am now a substitute at my daughter's church preschool. I can still get my boys to school and pick them up after. It will be awesome to be able to help pay for our daughter's preschool and have a little extra to pay off some bills.
I am a little nervous about the transition, though. I know that for September I will work four days a week for five and a half hours per day as they need help in the younger kiddos classrooms. I am trying to figure out how I will fit everything in.
The kids are old enough to have chores, but I am bad about being consistent and staying on them. Also, to be honest, sometimes it is just easier to do it myself. I do think I will have to get over that in order to maintain my sanity.
So between work and carpool, I will be away from home 8-9 hours (except Mondays)...so, how do you working ladies do it all?:) The last time I was a working parent, I only had one kid and he was a baby...now I have three with extra activities and all. Any advice?
I am a little nervous about the transition, though. I know that for September I will work four days a week for five and a half hours per day as they need help in the younger kiddos classrooms. I am trying to figure out how I will fit everything in.
The kids are old enough to have chores, but I am bad about being consistent and staying on them. Also, to be honest, sometimes it is just easier to do it myself. I do think I will have to get over that in order to maintain my sanity.
So between work and carpool, I will be away from home 8-9 hours (except Mondays)...so, how do you working ladies do it all?:) The last time I was a working parent, I only had one kid and he was a baby...now I have three with extra activities and all. Any advice?
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Sexy Song for Sunday
Levi and I love this song. There is nothing we can't handle together...well, except maybe ninjas.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Minimalist Pantry and Look Better Naked
I haven't done a minimalist post in a while because...well, it just wasn't funny or as exciting as cleaning out my underwear drawer:) I have been cleaning out, but I spared you all the boringness of the kids' rooms and our play room, but we were able to donate two garbage bags of clothes that don't fit and some toys and books they no longer play with. Everything is organized...for now...by next week I am sure it will be a mess again:) I finally got my daughter's shelves hung and my son's have some of their medals on the walls now. So the next project that I wanted to tackle is my pantry.
I have actually been working on the pantry all summer in attempts by Levi and I wanting to look better naked. Levi really doesn't need to lose weight but he wants to work on areas that have gone soft. I do need to lose some weight but more importantly want to be healthy. I have had some annoying health issues the past couple of years involving my thyroid. It is amazing what this tiny little gland controls in your body and ways that it wreaks havoc when it doesn't work properly.
Before my thyroid issues, losing weight was a challenge but not an impossible climbing Everest sort of task. After, it has been really hard and I actually put on 10-15 pounds without changing anything. My endocrinologist told me to switch to a 1300 calorie diet. I did that for three weeks and was starving ALL THE TIME...and didn't lose a thing. I felt sick and often light headed. I was 45 pounds overweight. Once we got my thyroid levels regulated, I dropped those 10-15 pounds and was then 30 pounds overweight.
I was also extremely frustrated by all of the medications that I had to take and every time I went to the doctor with a problem they just wanted to give me another medication. I started every morning with two thyroid medications, then after waiting for 30-45 minutes I had to take medicine for low vitamin D, low calcium, a multivitamin with good selenium levels to help the thyroid meds work, and medicine for overactive bladder that I have struggled with since the birth of my first child. I had to take the birth control pill for a couple of months this year to shrink some ovarian cysts that had grown quite large, but don't need birth control and hated the side effects so quit taking that after the cysts shrank. I had to take a monthly anti fungal to prevent a yeast infection that I would get every month. I ended the day with Zantac for reflux and Gas X almost every night for uncomfortable digestive issues. I also suffered from allergy and sinus issues and often had to take meds for that.
I was desperate for change and the 1300 calorie diet wasn't working and wasn't feasible for me. I have really been struggling emotionally this past year in dealing with these issues. I began doing lots of internet research...that is exhausting. It seems like everything contradicts everything else. After reading about Paleo on Average Married Dad's blog (and nutrition in his new book that I will review soon, "Average Married Dad's Guide to Health, Wealth, and a Sexy Marriage") and benefits of natural foods from 100 days of Real Food. I decided to try some natural, Paleo-like foods and cut out soda. I had read that processed foods could make a thyroid sluggish. That seemed to make me feel somewhat better although was a difficult transition, lots of work, and a bit expensive.
Then I read a book by Dr Hotze that I picked up at a used book store called, "Hormones, Health, and Happiness." His descriptions of my health and feeling like I was a hypochondriac were spot on. I cried...yes, I cried over a hormone book...surprised? What struck me as the most important was the chapter on yeast overgrowth. Signs of yeast overgrowth: fatigue, heartburn, craving sugar or bread products, moodiness, allergies, yeast infections, abdominal bloating, cramping, or gas. I talked to my ob/gyn about trying a yeast free diet instead of the Diflucan every month and he said yes, sometimes that works. I left thinking then why didn't you tell me that that might help? My endocrinologist when I asked her if there were any foods that could help my thyroid she had also told me no, not really. Yes, I know I probably need a new endocrinologist. In years past my gastroenterologist had diagnosed me with IBS. I had been tested for Celiac's as he thought that my symptoms were similar, but it came back negative. I read something interesting though in my research that just because you do not have an allergy to gluten that you may still be gluten intolerant...it's like the difference between a milk allergy and lactose intolerance. He never suggested trying a gluten free diet.
I decided to go on a strict yeast free diet for 4 weeks and see what happened. Day one...I did not have to take gas medicine. I had NO bloating on DAY ONE. The first few days I did crave sweets, but on the version of the diet I chose, I could have berries. I ordered a cookbook called "Simply Yeast Free" by Kindsey Neeson and Katy Langkamp...it seemed the easiest to follow and had some good looking recipes. It talked about how the cravings would be really hard, but I didn't find that they were too difficult and in fact I finally felt satisfied...coming off such a restrictive 1300 calories felt great. After week one, my allergies and sinus issues were minimized. I wouldn't say they were completely gone, but I no longer had to take medicine. After two weeks, my bad cravings were gone. After four weeks, I had lost ten pounds without trying. I had not seen the 160s in a long while:) The yeast free diet is a gradual diet where you can begin introducing certain foods after the restrictive period, but there are certain foods you should avoid. I don't eat bread, and I really don't miss it. Pasta is a little tougher...I miss my Italian Baked Ziti. I have found that the occasional tortilla does not bother me too much but I try to avoid them. I am eating a ton of fruits and vegetables which requires a lot of prep. That has taken some getting used to...but is worth it, because I feel great! It is not as expensive as I thought it would be because I don't eat as much.
Now, I am not saying this is for everyone, but if you feel badly you should try diet changes and see if you feel better. Is it the yeast, the gluten, the dairy...I don't really know for sure, but am trying different things and noting their effects. I have a friend whom if she doesn't have some sugar in her diet then she puts on weight...so you have to do what is best for you. I use a lot of Paleo recipes as they are easy to find and still eat out. It is a little more expensive at the grocery store but we don't pick up fast food as often so we have saved money there. The only issue that is left is some hair loss during certain times of the month that is a bit disturbing and my overactive bladder...although that is better since I quit the soda. I tried to have a soda the other day and couldn't finish it...it was making me feel sick. I still take my thyroid meds and vitamins and probably will always have to, but have saved money on all the over the counter meds I am not having to take. I did add a probiotic for now to help rebalance the good bacteria/yeast, but no longer need the Zantac.
So what does this have to do with my pantry? Well, it's pretty empty. I have this huge pantry and there is just not much in it. My kids and husband still have some bread and snacks, but I am slowly limiting some of that. There isn't much pasta or rice. I still make some of that for them, but notice that it bothers me. I still have some tortilla chips occasionally, but can't really have any other kind. Potatoes really seem to bother me, too. I have a lot of nuts, spices, and oils, but my baking "section" is very small. I have some almond flour, coconut flour and Stevia. My freezer and fridge stay full these days though:) I wiped down all the shelves and have a big bucket for snacks for the kids. I am trying to slowly switch them from the Goldfish and Cheeze-its to raisins, nuts, or applesauce etc. The dog food is in a container and I want to get some containers for all my nuts:) I feel good when I open the pantry door and AM starting to look better naked. Yeah! I will tell you about my exercise plan in another post. Oh and Levi has lost 5 pounds without trying...my healthy dinners I suppose. He hasn't started exercising, but as my weight melts away, he makes more and more comments about getting started:)
Now if I could just figure out why my hair keeps falling out before I need a wig...
I have actually been working on the pantry all summer in attempts by Levi and I wanting to look better naked. Levi really doesn't need to lose weight but he wants to work on areas that have gone soft. I do need to lose some weight but more importantly want to be healthy. I have had some annoying health issues the past couple of years involving my thyroid. It is amazing what this tiny little gland controls in your body and ways that it wreaks havoc when it doesn't work properly.
I was also extremely frustrated by all of the medications that I had to take and every time I went to the doctor with a problem they just wanted to give me another medication. I started every morning with two thyroid medications, then after waiting for 30-45 minutes I had to take medicine for low vitamin D, low calcium, a multivitamin with good selenium levels to help the thyroid meds work, and medicine for overactive bladder that I have struggled with since the birth of my first child. I had to take the birth control pill for a couple of months this year to shrink some ovarian cysts that had grown quite large, but don't need birth control and hated the side effects so quit taking that after the cysts shrank. I had to take a monthly anti fungal to prevent a yeast infection that I would get every month. I ended the day with Zantac for reflux and Gas X almost every night for uncomfortable digestive issues. I also suffered from allergy and sinus issues and often had to take meds for that.
I was desperate for change and the 1300 calorie diet wasn't working and wasn't feasible for me. I have really been struggling emotionally this past year in dealing with these issues. I began doing lots of internet research...that is exhausting. It seems like everything contradicts everything else. After reading about Paleo on Average Married Dad's blog (and nutrition in his new book that I will review soon, "Average Married Dad's Guide to Health, Wealth, and a Sexy Marriage") and benefits of natural foods from 100 days of Real Food. I decided to try some natural, Paleo-like foods and cut out soda. I had read that processed foods could make a thyroid sluggish. That seemed to make me feel somewhat better although was a difficult transition, lots of work, and a bit expensive.
Then I read a book by Dr Hotze that I picked up at a used book store called, "Hormones, Health, and Happiness." His descriptions of my health and feeling like I was a hypochondriac were spot on. I cried...yes, I cried over a hormone book...surprised? What struck me as the most important was the chapter on yeast overgrowth. Signs of yeast overgrowth: fatigue, heartburn, craving sugar or bread products, moodiness, allergies, yeast infections, abdominal bloating, cramping, or gas. I talked to my ob/gyn about trying a yeast free diet instead of the Diflucan every month and he said yes, sometimes that works. I left thinking then why didn't you tell me that that might help? My endocrinologist when I asked her if there were any foods that could help my thyroid she had also told me no, not really. Yes, I know I probably need a new endocrinologist. In years past my gastroenterologist had diagnosed me with IBS. I had been tested for Celiac's as he thought that my symptoms were similar, but it came back negative. I read something interesting though in my research that just because you do not have an allergy to gluten that you may still be gluten intolerant...it's like the difference between a milk allergy and lactose intolerance. He never suggested trying a gluten free diet.
I decided to go on a strict yeast free diet for 4 weeks and see what happened. Day one...I did not have to take gas medicine. I had NO bloating on DAY ONE. The first few days I did crave sweets, but on the version of the diet I chose, I could have berries. I ordered a cookbook called "Simply Yeast Free" by Kindsey Neeson and Katy Langkamp...it seemed the easiest to follow and had some good looking recipes. It talked about how the cravings would be really hard, but I didn't find that they were too difficult and in fact I finally felt satisfied...coming off such a restrictive 1300 calories felt great. After week one, my allergies and sinus issues were minimized. I wouldn't say they were completely gone, but I no longer had to take medicine. After two weeks, my bad cravings were gone. After four weeks, I had lost ten pounds without trying. I had not seen the 160s in a long while:) The yeast free diet is a gradual diet where you can begin introducing certain foods after the restrictive period, but there are certain foods you should avoid. I don't eat bread, and I really don't miss it. Pasta is a little tougher...I miss my Italian Baked Ziti. I have found that the occasional tortilla does not bother me too much but I try to avoid them. I am eating a ton of fruits and vegetables which requires a lot of prep. That has taken some getting used to...but is worth it, because I feel great! It is not as expensive as I thought it would be because I don't eat as much.
Now, I am not saying this is for everyone, but if you feel badly you should try diet changes and see if you feel better. Is it the yeast, the gluten, the dairy...I don't really know for sure, but am trying different things and noting their effects. I have a friend whom if she doesn't have some sugar in her diet then she puts on weight...so you have to do what is best for you. I use a lot of Paleo recipes as they are easy to find and still eat out. It is a little more expensive at the grocery store but we don't pick up fast food as often so we have saved money there. The only issue that is left is some hair loss during certain times of the month that is a bit disturbing and my overactive bladder...although that is better since I quit the soda. I tried to have a soda the other day and couldn't finish it...it was making me feel sick. I still take my thyroid meds and vitamins and probably will always have to, but have saved money on all the over the counter meds I am not having to take. I did add a probiotic for now to help rebalance the good bacteria/yeast, but no longer need the Zantac.
So what does this have to do with my pantry? Well, it's pretty empty. I have this huge pantry and there is just not much in it. My kids and husband still have some bread and snacks, but I am slowly limiting some of that. There isn't much pasta or rice. I still make some of that for them, but notice that it bothers me. I still have some tortilla chips occasionally, but can't really have any other kind. Potatoes really seem to bother me, too. I have a lot of nuts, spices, and oils, but my baking "section" is very small. I have some almond flour, coconut flour and Stevia. My freezer and fridge stay full these days though:) I wiped down all the shelves and have a big bucket for snacks for the kids. I am trying to slowly switch them from the Goldfish and Cheeze-its to raisins, nuts, or applesauce etc. The dog food is in a container and I want to get some containers for all my nuts:) I feel good when I open the pantry door and AM starting to look better naked. Yeah! I will tell you about my exercise plan in another post. Oh and Levi has lost 5 pounds without trying...my healthy dinners I suppose. He hasn't started exercising, but as my weight melts away, he makes more and more comments about getting started:)
Now if I could just figure out why my hair keeps falling out before I need a wig...
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Confessions of a Recovering Nag: Part 2
I recently read an old article on nagging and how detrimental it is for your marriage. You can read it here: http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052970203806504577180811554468728. If you want the short version: Nagging is dangerous for your relationship, it is a form of negative communication that can get worse over time if you don't change it, the writer calls it "The Marriage Killer", says it is more common than adultery and potentially as toxic. (not sure I would go THAT far, but I can see how over time it could be very damaging...like chipping away at intimacy and love...who wants to hang around someone who is constantly nagging)
I love statistics. They make sense to me, although you have to be careful that you understand the study that they derived from as they could very well be useless...but, I digress...statistics help me to put it into perspective. Dr. Howard J. Markman published some research in the Journal of Family Psychology in 2010 that concluded that "couples who became unhappy five years into their marriage had a roughly 20% increase in negative communication patterns consistent with nagging, and a 12% decrease in positive communication." It doesn't tell you how much nagging the couples had to begin with...I would guess that everyone has a bit of nagging in their relationship and that it can go both ways. It just says that it "increases" by 20%.
I asked Levi if I was a "nag". I told him to be honest with me and I think he was. He said no...that I sometimes nag...but that he would not call me a "nag". I asked what his definition of a nag was out of curiosity...if I nag but am not a "nag", then what is a "nag" to you? He actually named an old friend of ours. Her nagging was so bad that we just couldn't hang out with them any more. She was very negative and her husband never did anything right. He also never stood up for himself...it was painful to watch. So it sounds to me that a "nag", at least in my husband's definition is someone who does it more often and with criticism. So I guess it is kinda like the difference between "acting like a _________" to "being a_________" (insert negative name in the blank). Semantics.
Okay, good to know.
So, now what?
Well, I am trying to stop my nagging, but I have to say something or I just might explode. So what do I say? How do I say it? What happens when what I want still doesn't happen? What do I say then? I need the words that will get my feelings across without nagging.
What about when I am right
The main issue with this one is to make sure that I am not expressing my opinion in front of others or the kids. I probably need to discuss it way before we get into a situation also. So, using the kiddos watching a movie that I think is inappropriate: "I don't think that kid whichever is ready to watch certain movies because _________. I worry that _________." If he were to let them watch it anyway: "I am upset that you let kid whichever watch ___________. I am worried they will have nightmares or ____________."
When I am anxious
So what I should have said in regards to the lawn mower: "I am really scared about the gas fumes and I don't think I am going to be able to sleep. It's probably silly, but do you think we could move the lawn mower to the backyard?"
When I am feeling unheard, ignored, or unimportant
If I feel like like this then the nag is just for attention. The trick is to realize it myself. And then say, "I miss you" or "I feel like you aren't listening to me" or "I feel like ________ is not important to you, but it is very important to me." The key here is to make sure that it really is important to me...not everything is really all that important.
When I am feeling annoyed with him
I think that sometimes I just need a little a space and sometimes I just need to ask myself if it is really important or if I am just in a mood. If it is not important, then I need to let it go. (Dang it, now I have that song stuck in my head!)
When I am reminding him
I think I will just text him and let it go. (again with the song...hold on, I just have to get through the chorus) If he forgets something then they will be his consequences to deal with. I am NOT his mother and I need to trust that he will remember. How will he lead if I don't act like I trust him to?
When I am concerned about future consequences
I need to tell him...once...what I am concerned about and then again let him deal with it and let it go. I have a hard time with this one sometimes because of the running to do list in my brain. I have a hard time crossing it off the list if it isn't done. I heard a great description of a woman's brain once compared to your desktop. A man can open one thing on the desktop and then close it to open something else. Whereas a woman has a hard time closing things on her desktop until they are complete so they end up with all these things open on the desktop at once and begin to feel overwhelmed and can't stop thinking or worrying about the things that aren't done on her desktop. The programs are constantly running in the background and I can't fully focus on what I need to be doing at any given moment. I need to close the programs that are his responsibility and stop trying to force him to complete them when I want him too...wish it was as easy as a click of the mouse. An alternative to this is saying something like, "I know that you are really busy at work and it is hard for you to take the car for the oil change. Would you like to switch cars one day and I can take it for you?" or think of some other alternative to fix the problem so I can click the x.
The article also suggested that the "nagged" could also help the situation by stating when they will be able to accomplish something and then FOLLOWING THROUGH. Are you being nagged because you never do what you say you are going to? It also said the "nagged" will shut down or be turned away from what the nagger wants accomplished the more the nagger nags. It is a negative pattern that will continue if the cycle isn't stopped...the nagger nags, the nagged doesn't complete the nag, the nagger nags more, the nagged digs in his/her heels and really doesn't want to even be around the nagger, the nagger feels alone and unloved, the nagged feels badgered and not trusted. Sounds like fun.
I will be honest with you...this is a lot of work. Why can't he just know what I want when I want it. I know that is unrealistic, but ugh! Can't he see that the trash is full, that I am just worried and I need his reassurance, that I am stressed out and just need a bubble bath and a glass of wine, that I want to spend time with him, that I am a smart woman who might know a thing or two, can't he just see? I know it will be worth it if I can work on this and choose my words more carefully. Oh and the letting go part...so freakin' hard! I hope it gets easier with practice!
In what situations do you nag? Are you a recovering nag? What made it easier for you to stop nagging? Are you the nagged at your house? What do you do to stop being nagged?
I love statistics. They make sense to me, although you have to be careful that you understand the study that they derived from as they could very well be useless...but, I digress...statistics help me to put it into perspective. Dr. Howard J. Markman published some research in the Journal of Family Psychology in 2010 that concluded that "couples who became unhappy five years into their marriage had a roughly 20% increase in negative communication patterns consistent with nagging, and a 12% decrease in positive communication." It doesn't tell you how much nagging the couples had to begin with...I would guess that everyone has a bit of nagging in their relationship and that it can go both ways. It just says that it "increases" by 20%.
I asked Levi if I was a "nag". I told him to be honest with me and I think he was. He said no...that I sometimes nag...but that he would not call me a "nag". I asked what his definition of a nag was out of curiosity...if I nag but am not a "nag", then what is a "nag" to you? He actually named an old friend of ours. Her nagging was so bad that we just couldn't hang out with them any more. She was very negative and her husband never did anything right. He also never stood up for himself...it was painful to watch. So it sounds to me that a "nag", at least in my husband's definition is someone who does it more often and with criticism. So I guess it is kinda like the difference between "acting like a _________" to "being a_________" (insert negative name in the blank). Semantics.
Okay, good to know.
So, now what?
Well, I am trying to stop my nagging, but I have to say something or I just might explode. So what do I say? How do I say it? What happens when what I want still doesn't happen? What do I say then? I need the words that will get my feelings across without nagging.
What about when I am right
The main issue with this one is to make sure that I am not expressing my opinion in front of others or the kids. I probably need to discuss it way before we get into a situation also. So, using the kiddos watching a movie that I think is inappropriate: "I don't think that kid whichever is ready to watch certain movies because _________. I worry that _________." If he were to let them watch it anyway: "I am upset that you let kid whichever watch ___________. I am worried they will have nightmares or ____________."
When I am anxious
So what I should have said in regards to the lawn mower: "I am really scared about the gas fumes and I don't think I am going to be able to sleep. It's probably silly, but do you think we could move the lawn mower to the backyard?"
When I am feeling unheard, ignored, or unimportant
If I feel like like this then the nag is just for attention. The trick is to realize it myself. And then say, "I miss you" or "I feel like you aren't listening to me" or "I feel like ________ is not important to you, but it is very important to me." The key here is to make sure that it really is important to me...not everything is really all that important.
When I am feeling annoyed with him
I think that sometimes I just need a little a space and sometimes I just need to ask myself if it is really important or if I am just in a mood. If it is not important, then I need to let it go. (Dang it, now I have that song stuck in my head!)
When I am reminding him
I think I will just text him and let it go. (again with the song...hold on, I just have to get through the chorus) If he forgets something then they will be his consequences to deal with. I am NOT his mother and I need to trust that he will remember. How will he lead if I don't act like I trust him to?
When I am concerned about future consequences
I need to tell him...once...what I am concerned about and then again let him deal with it and let it go. I have a hard time with this one sometimes because of the running to do list in my brain. I have a hard time crossing it off the list if it isn't done. I heard a great description of a woman's brain once compared to your desktop. A man can open one thing on the desktop and then close it to open something else. Whereas a woman has a hard time closing things on her desktop until they are complete so they end up with all these things open on the desktop at once and begin to feel overwhelmed and can't stop thinking or worrying about the things that aren't done on her desktop. The programs are constantly running in the background and I can't fully focus on what I need to be doing at any given moment. I need to close the programs that are his responsibility and stop trying to force him to complete them when I want him too...wish it was as easy as a click of the mouse. An alternative to this is saying something like, "I know that you are really busy at work and it is hard for you to take the car for the oil change. Would you like to switch cars one day and I can take it for you?" or think of some other alternative to fix the problem so I can click the x.
The article also suggested that the "nagged" could also help the situation by stating when they will be able to accomplish something and then FOLLOWING THROUGH. Are you being nagged because you never do what you say you are going to? It also said the "nagged" will shut down or be turned away from what the nagger wants accomplished the more the nagger nags. It is a negative pattern that will continue if the cycle isn't stopped...the nagger nags, the nagged doesn't complete the nag, the nagger nags more, the nagged digs in his/her heels and really doesn't want to even be around the nagger, the nagger feels alone and unloved, the nagged feels badgered and not trusted. Sounds like fun.
I will be honest with you...this is a lot of work. Why can't he just know what I want when I want it. I know that is unrealistic, but ugh! Can't he see that the trash is full, that I am just worried and I need his reassurance, that I am stressed out and just need a bubble bath and a glass of wine, that I want to spend time with him, that I am a smart woman who might know a thing or two, can't he just see? I know it will be worth it if I can work on this and choose my words more carefully. Oh and the letting go part...so freakin' hard! I hope it gets easier with practice!
In what situations do you nag? Are you a recovering nag? What made it easier for you to stop nagging? Are you the nagged at your house? What do you do to stop being nagged?
Monday, August 18, 2014
A Procrastinator's Sunday Monday Song
We were driving back home last night from visiting family all weekend and I was exhausted...so here is your Sunday song on Monday.
A happy love song that makes you want to dance around, climb trees, and become an expert whistler from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros..."Home".
A happy love song that makes you want to dance around, climb trees, and become an expert whistler from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros..."Home".
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