Yes, it is that time again...
The time of year that I will take extra care with my appearance is here. I will shower with scented body wash. I will take extra care to wash my hair and massage my scalp and not do the typical five minute dash before the kids have a chance to destroy what I just spent all day cleaning.
I will shave my legs...my whole leg...not just the bottom half. I will realize that I have been using a very dull razor (for probably months) and change the blade. I will yell at anyone who dares to open the bathroom door and let the cold air in. I will painstakingly (and carefully since I now have a new blade) trim and shave my bikini area.
\
I will buff my heels and soles. I will trim, clean and paint my toenails. I will be embarrassed that I let my toenails get so bad that there is no longer any polish on my last two toes and not because it chipped off, but because they have grown that much since I last bothered to paint them. I will get over it and choose a bright, bold color. I will curse when I mess up the polish on the wall I just stubbed my toe on.
I will brush my teeth, floss, and pull out the mouthwash (is this stuff still good...does it go bad?) I will use scented lotion on my whole body. I will pluck my eyebrows and give myself a facial. I will put on makeup. I will wonder where the hell that new line by my eye came from.
I will wear matching bra and panties even though no one will see them but me. I will choose something to wear that is comfortable and flattering. I will wear flip flops for ease of removal.
All to hear: Mrs. Bea, you may put your feet in the stirrups now.
Yes, it is that time of year again. Time for my annual visit to the gynecologist. For men reading this...you will probably not understand my neurosis in regards to my appearance before my annual exam. Women, however, know exactly what I am talking about. So for you men, let me explain...I am not attracted to my ob/gyn...he is old enough to be my father, but he is the only other person in my life that sees me completely naked. Oh, sure, they give you a ridiculously thin sheet (cough cough...piece of paper) to cover yourself with and only uncover what they are dealing with at any given moment, but even though it isn't all at once...they see you naked and poke and prod things that only your husband pokes and prods at. It seems silly, but for some reason you want to look your best. I have friends who see female doctors and they still follow the same routine. Now, I don't go to extremes and vagazzle anything, but I want to be clean, trimmed, and Dear Lord not smell, in any way, remotely bad.
(No, this isn't me, but trying to show paint clothes...not what I first got when I googled paint clothes and got very distracted by the people with clothes painted on them...geez)
As I was getting ready for this appointment, I began to wonder why I don't often go to this much trouble to please my husband visually. Now, don't get me wrong I try to shave, keep the bikini area where he wants to visit on a regular basis, and put on makeup occasionally. But I very rarely go to this much trouble for the man I love. I had been improving but with all the home improvement going on, my primping lately has involved a shower and scraping the paint off my fingernails and wondering how I still have paint in my hair. I want to be attractive for my husband and spend some time looking good for me, too:)
Why do I spend so much time getting ready for a 10 minute doctor visit, or a trip to the mall, or a once a month date night? Why, on most days, do I aim for looking good enough to visit Walmart? Why do people try to make you feel badly and label you vain if you spend what they deem too long on your appearance, which seems to be anything longer than 10 minutes? Why do people try to make you feel badly if you want to look nice for your spouse?
Something I have time to ponder while I wait two hours because my doctor had to go deliver a baby.
The good news: no kids allowed:) Ahhhhhh...silence is golden. Just me and the preggos.
Uggggh, I hate when that time of year rolls around! I do think its important to at least try to look nice for our husbands. Maybe not every day, but more often than not. After all, it their opinion at matters most. (Yep, saying this to myself too ;)
ReplyDeleteFor sure! I couldn't do this every day, but I need to get back into trying harder a little more often.:)
DeleteLOL...I was there today too! She now has this fiber optic light that goes in the speculum. My doctor was kind enough to show me. It was like a some sort of disco accessory. I do believe that was the first time my whoo whoo was illuminated. I was expecting to hear Gloria Gaynor " Once I was afraid I was petrified"
ReplyDeleteOh sorry, back to the 'seriousness' of your post. It is the same reason we give our all to the outside world and save the exhausted for our home. It doesn't make it right, but home is our save haven. Where we SHOULD be accepted at our physical worst. Loved despite the paint in our hair. But I do understand your point, why not put out the effort for your husband? Well before you continue to beat yourself up on this, remember you see your doctor for your visit once a year, your husband every single day.
I try to be all Mrs. Brady for Barney when he comes home, but the truth of the matter is it doesn't always work out that way ( plus that woman had a maid and a gay husband..okay poor reference). While he loves to see me dressed up, he has NO problem finding the bleach smelling woman with the frizzy pony tail appealing either.
love ya, chipped toe nails or not! willie
Lol!!! A lit up whoo whoo...I can't stop laughing! I suppose I am just trying to find a balance and this made me realize that it is time to tip the scales again:) If I want my husband's best...I should make sure he gets some of mine:)
DeleteLove you too!
This is true...can't say I've spent much time thinking about it but it is SO true.
ReplyDeletei think about the strangest things sometimes:)
DeleteI haven't really thought about it much either but it is true. Why don't we go to the same lengths for our men? I think it's the familiarity and our comfort level. Our husbands know us intimately so there is less stress involved. The doc ... a different story. I suppose akin to how we run around fussing more about the state of our home before visitors arrive more than we fuss about cleaning up before hubby arrives home.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Roz
Very true Roz...the house is another thing...I know that Levi will be in a much better mood when he enters an uncluttered space. With three kids that isn't always possible but it can make our evening so much more enjoyable:)
DeleteHi Bea, Omg we all do that! How ridiculous we all are really,I am sure my doctor doesn't care one jot. We don't have a yearly visit here it's much less frequent, Not sure whether that is a good thing or a bad one;)
ReplyDeletelove Jan.
I could probably go every three, but my doc is old school and also likes to do bloodwork once a year...
DeleteGlad to know I am not alone:)
Maybe you should plan a date night on that night every year...since you are already fancy...that's what I would do (I am very practical and that is a lot of effort) :-) I do like to get dressed up for my husband sometimes, too. And for me, as well. It is nice to know he loves me even when I look frumpy...but nice to be show the sexy, beautiful side, too. And sometimes, I feel better about myself when I am dressed better and take time for myself to get fancy. Especially since I work with kids all the time and am usually wearing loose fitting pants and a t-shirt. Gosh...does this mean I have to shave my whole legs now...I usually try to be very clean before I go for my annual gyn exam...but apparently I have been slacking...
ReplyDelete:-) gosh...rambled far too long here... :-)
Shoot! Maybe I should plan a kidless night at a hotel! That is a lot of effort!:)
DeleteLol! You can ramble all you want dear!
Me too!!! And then I go crazy with the tiny alcohol wipes too!
ReplyDelete